Dear Soda Fountain Lurkers (SFLs)-
Why do you feel it is necessary to stand really close behind me while I fill my drink cup? Do you think that your proximity might alter the mechanical properties of the soda fountain, making it dispense its hydrocarbonated water at an elevated rate? I don’t think it will. Do you think I’m leaving with a half full cup? I’m not. All you’re doing is making it uncomfortable for both of us. You should act as if there is a velvet rope five feet behind the fountain and line up accordingly.
If you do not change your actions with alacrity I will be forced to institute a poor-manners arms race. I will stand right behind you and talk very loudly on my cell phone. About you. Specifically about your poor drink fountain manners. And as that subtle red flush of embarrassment creeps up your neck I will smirk self-satifiedly.
And, as for that odder breed of lurkers, those who after getting their drink stand around and watch me fill mine (after I advance the five feet to the fountain, of course!) I have no idea where to begin! Why are you observing my filling technique? Is it because you think I’m doing it wrong and want to feel better about yourself? If it is, I think you might want to look into some self-affirmation classes. Or, is it because you are insecure in your technique and hope to learn from my graceful arm motions. The secret is the culminating lithe extension of the wrist, depressing the dispensing lever a precise amount!
Thank you for your time,
Eric
So guess what internet friends!
I’m here in my lab waiting for my frog embryos to reach stage 27 so I can image them. It’s almost eleven pm, here in Austin. That might have sounded bitter but it wasn’t meant to.
I love my “job.” I’m basically paid to screw around, take pictures, and learn esoteric facts. It’s pretty awesome!
Granted, it is kind of nullifying any other life I might have had, but that’s okay. When my friends talk about their fancy cars and houses, I can mention that I routinely work with equipment valued in the millions, and that my lab has four rooms (one with a view!). And when they talk about their significant others, I can just whisper my loved one’s name, Zeiss LM5 PASCAL.
She’s wonderful!
while talking with my buddy grant last night, he mentioned i should come with him to this bar he likes alot because they have skeeball. i dont know if the ‘novelty bar’ ratio is higher in portland (ahem ground kontrol) or not, but it seems to me that it is. with that in mind i think i should start one. any ideas for a hip novelty bar?
My friend and I once had an idea for a science themed bar called “The Lab.” All drinks would be mixed and served in scientific glassware, dry-ice would be abundant, the staff would wear labcoats (but, like, sexy labcoats for the ladies) and there would be bubbly, sciency crap all over.
I think the take away lesson here is that I’m kinda of a nerd.
Also, Al, I’ve got one for you. Endor. All drinks to be served by Ewoks.
Meg-
Can you send my zucchini bread to texas by (instant) air mail? I’ll just stand outside and catch the (hopefully) still warm deliciousness!
Thanks-
Eric
Please write a paragraph about how safe you feel. Just in general. The person with the most vague description wins zucchini bread.
Yeah, safe. I feel…safe. The noxious chemicals are all stored according to EH&S regulations, the acids separate from the bases, the oxidizers cloistered away from the reductants. Who knows or cares that labs are dumping radiation down the sink willy-nilly, that is not an issue for today, but for my children and my children’s children. So yes I feel safe…OH MY GOD WHAT ABOUT CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME FROM THE REPETITIVE PIPETTING…wait, breath in, now out, okay yes I feel safe.
Tae Joo, labmate and generally reserved man, referring to antibody conjugated beads.
To sum up: best lab meeting ever!
Meg reminded me of just how much I loved (and to a great extent still love) Reading Rainbow.
I think it’s because of LeVar Burton, the man who can go anywhere in space and time, from the Antebellum South, to the Final Frontier, or anyplace I can think of.
He even gets to hang out with Kermit
I think I’m gonna use this excuse to steal crap from some of my neighbor labs. When they arrest me, this will be my legal defense.
