So we went to see Cloverfield today. I enjoyed it—but I wasn’t expecting too much. What was more interesting than the movie itself was the crowd’s reaction at the end.
One guy said right as the film ended, “That was the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen.” My group was running the gamut of possible views. My general apathy and thinking it was okay was bordered by positive views and extreme disgust. Eh, whatever.
The monster was pretty cool though, and apparently evolutionarily adapted to shrug off US bunker busters, which are the most bustin’ in the world.
There may be some spoilers below, so you may want to refrain if you don’t want the gripping plot revealed.
Cloverfield Arithmetic (totals in parenthesis):
Start with a party-full of drunk happy people. Add one recently spurned love interest with new beau. Remove said love interest and attached beau after conflict.
Add earthquake and power outage. Move party to street (lots).
Subtract all smart people who get the hell out of dodge (few).
Take the remaining five people who stand around like idiots and move them to the brooklyn bridge (5).
Kill the unimportant brother of main guy by collapsing bridge trapping remaining idiots in manhattan (4).
Make main idiot-guy decide he want’s to save love interest. Other three agree for some nonobvious reason (4).
Kill one lady from exploding bite (3).
Save love interest (4).
Get one lady out by helicopter (joins others leaving 3).
Have camera guy/lovable narrator/idiot eaten by monster (2).
Have main guy plus love interest killed by ‘Operation Hammerdown’ (0)
Subtotals:
Idiots: 4 dead, 1 survived
Normal people: much better ratio though impossible to accurately calculate
The math just doesn’t favor love-torn idiots.
